I was born into a Christian family however I did not have a relationship with God.
Progressively, each week of attending service and Life Group became a chore for me.
My challenge came when the busyness of life overwhelmed me. Soon, I stopped attending church and had since left for four years.
I picked up a book, ‘The Da Vinci Code’, which made me ponder about Christian faith and the authenticity of the Bible.
I was taught that the Bible is the Word of God and it comes from God, but I never knew exactly how it came about. Also, the fact that it was compiled by a church council made me question its authenticity and reliability even more.
To me, the Old Testament is reliable because it is backed up by historical evidence. However, I believed in the lie that the New Testament might have been edited and revised by men.
My doubts about the New Testament troubled me greatly. It was at this moment I decided to ask God, "If the Bible is truly Your word as You meant it to be, show it to me!". But nothing happened.
I didn't think much of it, but when I asked this of God, the Holy Spirit was stirring up in me a desire to really know who God is.
A few days later, I came across a friend’s Instagram account which had the verse Isaiah 61:1 on the description. Instead, I mistakenly read it as Isaiah 11.
I looked up Isaiah 11, and to my surprise, the entire chapter was a prophecy about Jesus, which was fulfilled perfectly in the New Testament that happened 700 years later!
The Holy Spirit showed me through His word that the New Testament is a prophecy fulfilled from the Old Testament. God was telling me that the entire bible is real and reliable.
A colleague invited me to attend a Christian Fellowship session where they had invited an Apologist, Max Jeganathan to do sharing.
After attending the session what Max had shared rendered me speechless.
He had over 100 questions about the Bible when he attended Bible school and God answered every single one of them before he graduated. He also tested other beliefs and found that the Bible was the only one that could stand up to the questions with facts.
His sharing impacted me and answered many questions of my own questions. I thought to myself, “If a guy like him has a 100 over questions and did the necessary research, who am I to question if the Bible is real if I only did simple research using Wikipedia?”
God is sovereign and He really does not need to prove Himself to me. But He is such a loving and merciful God, that He cares even about my doubts and fears.
What was important to me was important to Him as well, and He patiently walked with me through all of my questions.
God was teaching me to seek Him in faith, and as I began to do that, the Holy Spirit started to reveal who God was to me. He revealed Himself not only to my logical senses, but also to my heart.
A previous Life Group Member, Ruth, took the opportunity to invite me to a Christmas party that Passionates was throwing. Thought I was fearful that I would be judged by those I knew before, my desire to know God outweighed my fear of man. During the Christmas party, I didn’t feel judged at all!.
I realised that the fear I had was unfounded. From the way my community treated me, the Holy Spirit showed me that I am truly accepted and loved, despite the choices that I had made in the past.
The Holy Spirit also revealed to me that my view of God was based on my own limited knowledge, as well as my religious ways. I realised that I knew God in my head but not in my heart.
Since then, I started on an exciting journey of knowing God personally. My community has played a big role in helping me to unlearn my false beliefs about God.
I used to believe that it was not possible for me to hear from God. I thought that He was far away and unconcerned about the details of my daily life. It just didn't make sense to me that God would speak to me on a personal level.
But through discipleship sessions, sermons and my own quiet time with God, I now see that that's not true at all! God desires to speak to me more than I could ever desire to hear from Him.
In fact, God wants to be so involved in my life that He sent the Holy Spirit to live inside of me.
Apart from the Holy Spirit, I cannot possibly know anything about God. But the Person of the Holy Spirit is God Himself, and He is the one who has searched my heart, opened my eyes, and revealed to me the deep things of God.
Even while I was going through a season of wandering, the Holy Spirit was always there with me, guiding me back to God. Now I know God as my personal Lord and Saviour, and the Holy Spirit as my Helper and Friend.
What's even more amazing is how the Holy Spirit wants to partner with me to bring about change in my life.
But now, the Holy Spirit speaks to me and convicts me to take steps of faith for Him.
On hindsight, a parable that Jesus spoke about comes to my mind. Luke 15:4-5 says,
“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do?
Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.”