I was invited to Youth Impact in 2016 by a friend. I liked the culture of youth impact and decided to stay because the community around me made me feel welcome. I grew in knowing about God and wanted to serve Him.
In my first year here, It didn’t matter what role I was given - I would give my best because I wanted to expand God’s kingdom, know Him more and be used by Him. As I served more, I did not keep watch over my heart and got caught up in the doing. Because of this, volunteering in church and helping people felt more like a chore to fulfill.
During this period, a group of friends outside introduced me to pornography. This opened a desire in me, and wanting to fit in, I continued watching pornography. No knew about this part of me in church. Whenever someone mentioned about lust and pornography, I would tense up and deny any associations with it. I was so caught up in the doing that it became my identity. Because of pride, I didn’t want people in life group to know my struggles.